2018 is over.
Yes, I am aware that it has officially been over for a week and I am wayyyy behind. But Christmas and New Years were the sweetest time with family and some of our dearest friends from home. So I spent the last two weeks soaking up the time and choosing not to worry about the things that would normally distract me from them. And then before I even had time to realize, we were a week into 2019. Wow.
I never come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions. I honestly don’t really believe in them. I am one of those people that doesn’t set a date on resolutions. If there is something on my heart to change about my life, I don’t want to wait a month to change it. I want to change it now, walk into whatever the Lord has for me right away instead of holding on to old and more comfortable habits for longer. I am not always successful in this, but it’s my heart to always be ready to change to become more of who Jesus wants me to be.
So, that being said, I don’t have any New Years Resolutions to share with you, but I do have a word. I’m going to be brutally honest about 2018, it didn’t go as planned. The end of the year left me a little bit confused as to what God had called me to and what He wanted for me. I had started out on a journey in June of 2018 that I truly thought was God’s long term calling on my life. I was positive that He was settling me in to what He wanted for me and that I would be establishing my life and doing that for a long time. But, those six months were filled with more challenges that caused me to be bold and stand up for what I believe in than any before. And then, the Lord called me to walk away from the direction He had me going. So, by the end of December I ended up with no job, and no direction for the future.
I can’t even tell you how much I struggled with that. Starting the new year off with no direction, no goals, and no plan left me feeling useless and confused. I was scrolling through instagram looking at everybody’s 2018 recaps and their goals and excitement about 2019 and I was discouraged that my life hasn’t gone the way I thought it would. That I didn’t know what was next, and I wasn’t sure when I would figure it out.
Then I was reminded how completely selfish that outlook was. I was spending all my time focusing on myself, my challenges, my hopes, my dreams, and my failures. This world tells us that we have to have a plan for tomorrow. That we have to be “successful” and know what we want. And before I go any further, I do not think it is bad to have goals, to be challenged, and to have hopes and dreams for the future that we work towards. But, we can’t put them above what God may have for us, and we have to be willing to have Him turn our lives upside down for Him. We need to be willing to let go of what we want and who we want to be for what He wants. He tells us in the Bible not to worry about tomorrow. He tells us that tomorrow isn’t promised. And never once does He tell us to have a list of goals to accomplish or a five year plan. He simply asks us to follow Him. Follow Him into the wilderness when we don’t know where we’re going.
He knows, and we have to choose to trust that His plans are far better than ours.
So, my word for this year is Courage. Courage to walk into the unknown, to trust that God will lead me when I can not see, to trust that His plan is better than mine, and to be willing to face whatever He allows in my life this year. I have absolutely no idea where I am going or what this year has for me, but I am learning that that is ok. That it isn’t for me to know right now but I need to trust. It’s not an easy thing to walk into an unknown future, but it’s something that God asks us to do. It takes courage. So, if you are in a similar place as I am, don’t tread water trying to put your life together the way you want it to look. Just follow Jesus, because His promises are true and He promises good for your life. So be brave, and conquer each day as He brings it.
2019 is going to be a beautiful year.
Love, love, love you all!
Sarah Paige xoxo
PS: The shirt I am wearing in the pic here is from The Heart and Arrow! Use the code SARAH10 for 10% off your purchase!